Ring and train bearer(s) Responsibilities

Neither of these is required positions and may be boys or girls. Usually only one ring bearer is used, but two with one ring per pillow will work if you have and abundance of four or five year children that you would like to have involved in the ceremony. Although the rings on the pillows are usually not the actual wedding rings, you could have two ring bearers if you are having a double ring ceremony, one for the bride and one for the groom.

In Advance

If ring bearers and trainbearer are little boys they are not likely to be interested in any pre--wedding parties. If they are girls, they might want to attend the shower and some other parties.

It is a must that they attend the rehearsal and may attend the rehearsal dinner with their families.

They should be available to bride or groom (if need be) for going shopping for wedding attire or to fittings.

At the Wedding

The ring bearers (s) carries a pillow with a ring or rings sewn to it. (These are usually not the real wedding rings but symbolic ones for show only.)

The ring bearer (s) walks either directly in front of or besides the flower girl (s) in the processional and the recessional.

If real rings are tied to the pillow the ring bearer takes the pillow directly to the maid or honor and the best man who will remove the rings. The trainbearers follow the bride in the processional and recessional, and carry the bridal train.

The flower girl typically walks down the aisle before the Maid of Honor or immediately before the bride. In many weddings, both the flower girl and the ring bearer will walk down the aisle at the same time, which makes a darling part of the wedding.

Trainbearer or pages usually walk in pairs but a single trainbearer can be used.

During the ceremony, the ring and train bearers may stand near the ushers or sit with their families. Younger ones probably will do better sitting with their families.

They are in the formal photographs of the bridal party.

During the Ceremony

Depending on the age of the ring and/or train bearer(s), they may be able to stand with the grooms party during the ceremony if they are boys, brides side if they are girls.. However, if they are younger, there should be a place held for them in the front row so they do not take the focus off the bride and groom. If their parents or grandparents can be there with them, they can help them sit still until the vows have been exchanged.

If the ring and/or train bearer does stand at the front, one of the groomsmen should be appointed to keep them still until after the "I Do's" have been exchanged and help direct them when to exit the site.

At the Reception

Ring and/or train bearer(s) do not usually stand in the reception line.

Ring and/or train bearer(s) usually sit at a table of honor with their families rather than at the head table. Remember, these are children who may need their food cut up! Let them sit with who they are comforable with.

Ring and/or train bearer(s) may dance with family members, friends or other members of the wedding party if they choose to do so.

Ring and/or train bearer(s) DO get "announced" along with wedding party when entering the reception. They are generally introduced with the flower girl or junior bridesmaid, whichever is more comfortable.

Expenses

Families of ring and/or train bearer(s) are expected to pay for the wedding and other attire. In some cases, the mother of the bride or groom or grandmother of the child (if she is invited) has elected to pay for these costs, but in the majority of the weddings we've seen, the family of the child pays.

If travel expenses are involved, the ring and/or train bearer(s) family normally pick up these costs. However, in some cases the parents of the bride and groom may elect to pay for guests travel arrangements.

Ring and/or train bearer(s) are not expected to bring a gift to pre-wedding parties they may attend. If their parents attend, gift expectations would be the same as any other guest. If they attend more than one shower or party, only one shower gift is expected.

Ring and/or train bearer(s) are not responsible for helping financially with any parties for the groom.

After the wedding

In certain cultures, there are after-wedding-parties that take place upon the return of the bride and groom from their honeymoon. If the wedding party is invited, then the ring and/or train bearer(s) and family is also expected to be invited.

If travel distance was an issue for the ring and/or train bearer(s) to attend your wedding, then it is not certainly expected to make another trip for an after-wedding-party.

Consider the nature of the party. If it is a casual family barbeque, then certianly, the ring and/or train bearer(s) will feel comfortable in those surroundings. However, if it an adult party at night filled with social drinking and partying until the wee hours of the morning, then reconsider inviting the child due to bedtime hours and age appropriateness. Maybe consider inviting the parents of the child if the bride and groom are close to them.